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“Time Heals”, So They Say!

4 Sep

3T7A7466 When someone is going through a rough time we like to tell that person, “time will heal”. Sometimes we don’t even know to what extent that person is hurting- but nothing seems or feels easier than to tell him or her that better day is ahead.

In the past couple years I have lost a few people who met everything to me. One of them was my mother’s one and only brother who passed away in Haiti. That one really hit home for me! Before he passed away, I was working in Haiti. And I only “made time” to see him once.  I truly thought I was a “busy bee” and assumed I had all the times in the World to see my uncle: especially when I already made plan for the following year to go back. I left Haiti and the following day, my uncle passed. I was crushed! Had I known, I would have made my uncle a priority. My uncle passed five years ago and it still hurts today. Mainly because I was away from my family and friends when I was mourning. I was in college and it seemed like I had no shoulder to cry on.

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Feeling like 30 at 28

17 Oct

fullsizerender Turning a new age is a blessing! I get to see my 28th birthday this week and for that, I couldn’t be more thankful. As excited, as I am to celebrate my 28th year on earth, nothing scares me the most than turning 30 years old. See, I’m not even there yet and I’m already worried about the things I cannot control. Typical me!

Turning 30 to me means that I should have everything figure out by then. It is the “I’m done with the foolery” year. The year where career is popping, settling down or in the process of doing so, and of course a lot of traveling. But, as I get closer to 30, I feel like I’m nowhere near ready for the things I expected to have accomplished by the time I’m 30- that itself scares the crap out of me.

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Hitting Rock Bottom

20 Sep

I understand it all!

10661657_981089251930536_5648916279989682922_o“Why didn’t you tell me?” “Oh, I didn’t think you were  being serious!” Going through depression has to be the hardest phase I had to experience in my entire life. Because of the way I carry myself, someone as hype as I am- explaining to others that I was depressed was the least thing everyone wanted to hear.

The word depression is described as feelings severe despondency and dejection, low spirit, etc.… (Merriam-Webster). I am a high-spirited person! I portray myself in a way that only brings positive energy around others. It even reflects on the way I dress: I wear a lot of fun and vibrant colors, which stand out among others- such as pop colors as neon.

A couple months ago, I have found myself in a place I couldn’t ever imagine: depression. For months, I lost my appetite, panic attack, couldn’t sleep at night, I was dealing and still dealing with a project that I have invested every breath that I’ve got, “4:53”. Through it all, I realized no one really understood me.

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When Nights and Days become One

8 Mar

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At the beginning of the year, I promise that I was going to do monthly-posts, I am keeping that promise; boy I did not expect February to be that hectic. The month was over before I could even imagined- the good thing, I overcame it so no complaining.

I enjoyed February, and I hope you did, as well.  I started pre-production of my film on the first week of the month- meaning, holding auditions, meeting up with my cinematopher, scouting for locations, finding an editor and casting the rest of the crew. All this had to be done within a month. I was nervous, I didn’t think I was going to be able to handle it all, since this was my first, ever film that I am directing, producing and let alone it was written by me.  With the way things are going right now, I am very happy.  We are scheduling to start shooting the last week of March, as nervous that I am- I cannot wait.

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