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With Age Comes…

24 Apr

IMG_4239The day I turn 28, I started addressing myself as if I just turned 40. Not that I’m saying 40 is old- but I’m 28 years old for Christ sake! I feel older than I actually am and sometimes I feel like I should have known more or have already accomplished more things.

I like to believe with age comes maturity; and for me, I want to be able to do things by myself, depending on myself more. A couple years ago, you couldn’t force me to dine out or to attend church alone. You couldn’t force me to do anything solitary, unless it had to do with my living space: that I can’t compromise.

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Feeling like 30 at 28

17 Oct

fullsizerender Turning a new age is a blessing! I get to see my 28th birthday this week and for that, I couldn’t be more thankful. As excited, as I am to celebrate my 28th year on earth, nothing scares me the most than turning 30 years old. See, I’m not even there yet and I’m already worried about the things I cannot control. Typical me!

Turning 30 to me means that I should have everything figure out by then. It is the “I’m done with the foolery” year. The year where career is popping, settling down or in the process of doing so, and of course a lot of traveling. But, as I get closer to 30, I feel like I’m nowhere near ready for the things I expected to have accomplished by the time I’m 30- that itself scares the crap out of me.

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Be Aware: Haiti and its ‘so-called’ NGOs

9 Oct

img_0094Haiti has once again hit with another catastrophe, hurricane Matthew. A hurricane that left many people killed, homeless, ruined from all their crops and livestock- a “no exit” situation.

Will Haiti ever catch a break? From hurricane Jeanne in 2004- one of the deadliest hurricanes in the Caribbean, that killed approximately 3000 people from Gonaives alone, a commune in northern part of Haiti. Hurricane Jeanne caused many devastating floods and mudslides. Four years later, in 2008, hurricane Gustav, Hanna and Ike once again hit Haiti.

And when we thought we have been through it all; then, 2010’s earthquake happened. A large scale of earthquake that struck down the island, killing over 160,000 of people and leaving many injured, physically and mentally. For the past six years, we, Haitians, have struggled to rebuild our country- most importantly, rebuilding our mental selves. A process that seems like taking eternity!

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Hitting Rock Bottom

20 Sep

I understand it all!

10661657_981089251930536_5648916279989682922_o“Why didn’t you tell me?” “Oh, I didn’t think you were  being serious!” Going through depression has to be the hardest phase I had to experience in my entire life. Because of the way I carry myself, someone as hype as I am- explaining to others that I was depressed was the least thing everyone wanted to hear.

The word depression is described as feelings severe despondency and dejection, low spirit, etc.… (Merriam-Webster). I am a high-spirited person! I portray myself in a way that only brings positive energy around others. It even reflects on the way I dress: I wear a lot of fun and vibrant colors, which stand out among others- such as pop colors as neon.

A couple months ago, I have found myself in a place I couldn’t ever imagine: depression. For months, I lost my appetite, panic attack, couldn’t sleep at night, I was dealing and still dealing with a project that I have invested every breath that I’ve got, “4:53”. Through it all, I realized no one really understood me.

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When Friends become Family

23 Feb

IMG_5118

Tim and I during A Man’s Responsibility rehearsal shenanigians

The great Henry Drummond once said, “The people who influence you are the people who believe in you.” I personally don’t have many friends- I can undoubtedly count all my friends together in one hand. I am always on-the-go; with that- it has become harder for me to make friends. With the little friends I have, I honestly call them family, they all are brothers and sisters God blesses me with. I am fortunate enough to have friends who believe in my dreams and they have always been there for me in times of need.

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Finding Inspiration…

16 Jan

FullSizeRenderA couple days ago, I was having a conversation with my best friend and the topic was inspiration. Who inspired you to be a better person? I thought about the question for a minute and my answer was I, myself- Myrlande. I am my own inspiration. Likewise, she had the same answer. You probably are thinking that we are some egotistical girls, (no argument, we probably are). I use the pronoun “I” more than anyone else. “I” this, “I” that- Ok, I get it! I am a subjective person.

I am the oldest amongst my three siblings and there is a huge age gap between all us: like I am four (4) years older than my sister, 15 years older than my younger brother and 17 years older than my youngest brother. Growing up, other than my parents, I did not have that sisterly or brotherly type of relationship with my siblings- I always thought I was too old. I focused on being an older sister instead of building a relationship with them. Therefore, I learnt to only depend on myself. From the time I started high school to my first year in college, I really was just “coin flipping” with everything I have faced. I think I did OK; however, I probably could have done better if I had someone to look up to.

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