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With Age Comes…

24 Apr

IMG_4239The day I turn 28, I started addressing myself as if I just turned 40. Not that I’m saying 40 is old- but I’m 28 years old for Christ sake! I feel older than I actually am and sometimes I feel like I should have known more or have already accomplished more things.

I like to believe with age comes maturity; and for me, I want to be able to do things by myself, depending on myself more. A couple years ago, you couldn’t force me to dine out or to attend church alone. You couldn’t force me to do anything solitary, unless it had to do with my living space: that I can’t compromise.

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My Epic Year

31 Dec

img_2563At the beginning of the year, we like to claim the year is going to be our year. Claim it in the name of JESUS! By declaring it, we hope to achieve bigger goals, starting a new diet or even becoming a better person. Some of us actually do keep up with these resolutions; however, to others- they all are forgotten by the first week of February.

The 2016’s year  was epic for me, positively and negatively. I have gone through so many journeys; it’s almost impossible to believe that it has only been 365 days. This year, I directed one of the many scripts I have written. It is one of my favorites- also a project that hits home whenever I talk about it. This year, “4:53” was born. It is a film focusing on Haitian mothers. I wanted to create a world where women are valued and strong. This film main goal was to show the rest of the universe how bold and capable are Black women. Though it has been a rough journey, I cannot wait to finish this project in the upcoming year.

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Hitting Rock Bottom

20 Sep

I understand it all!

10661657_981089251930536_5648916279989682922_o“Why didn’t you tell me?” “Oh, I didn’t think you were  being serious!” Going through depression has to be the hardest phase I had to experience in my entire life. Because of the way I carry myself, someone as hype as I am- explaining to others that I was depressed was the least thing everyone wanted to hear.

The word depression is described as feelings severe despondency and dejection, low spirit, etc.… (Merriam-Webster). I am a high-spirited person! I portray myself in a way that only brings positive energy around others. It even reflects on the way I dress: I wear a lot of fun and vibrant colors, which stand out among others- such as pop colors as neon.

A couple months ago, I have found myself in a place I couldn’t ever imagine: depression. For months, I lost my appetite, panic attack, couldn’t sleep at night, I was dealing and still dealing with a project that I have invested every breath that I’ve got, “4:53”. Through it all, I realized no one really understood me.

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I Found Myself by Losing Myself

1 Jul

IMG_3565-2It SEEMS like I have been slacking around; it may appear that I haven’t done much. I promised at least a post per month- I skipped last month. Not because I wasn’t aware, but I had so much going on- I had to focus on things that required much more attention than before. Now that is it all over- therefore, I can get back to my old routine.

So what has been going on? Well, enough to write a book. I haven’t posted anything since my short film came out in April. What a great learning experience- I must say? Not that I ever second-guessed myself. Based on people feedback, the film exceeded my expectation. I now know what I need to focus on for my next short or feature films. The topic I chose to write about targeted the audience and reactions I was aiming for. With that alone, I’m overjoyed.  Continue reading

Where did January Go?

1 Feb

“Don’t wake me up until it is all over” I guess I slept the entire January- where did it go?

IMG_6921I have been awfully busy lately. Mainly, taking care of school’s work and me, I barely noticed that January has crawled up on me.

I figure the best way to stay on track with my new year’s resolution is to do monthly- evaluations. That- itself, I will be able to see what I mastered on the previous month(s) and what I need to give more attention for the upcoming months. On my last post, I promised that I was going to start handling things differently this year. I have been doing just that- better yet, I’m doing more than I envisioned- problems? Uhh- yes! Don’t we all have them? I love working out- the best way to start my day is from a great workout. I have been doing so much lately- I barely have any time to make it to the gym. And whenever I do have some free time- my body gives up on me. So the past couple days, as I struggle to get everything positioned- whenever I’m too tired or unable to make it to the gym- I make sure I do at least abs at home. Spring break is around the corner and summer will be here before anyone knows it. Whatever I can do to get them muscles tight, I definitely will do it.

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My New Year’s Resolution: Self-concentration

4 Jan

DSC_0717A man who goes by the name Carl Bard once said, “ Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” It is a brand new year- although it seems like it was 2010 yesterday.   Every year, we all come up with what known as “New year’s resolution”. Some people choose to take better care of themselves, to lose or gain weight, pick up a new hobby, etc.- but the reality, by the first week of Feb., some people can’t even remember what their resolution was.

For the past years, I have always had the same resolution- to start working out. It was the same thing for many years, mainly because I never took initiative.  I would say it, but I would not start working out- unless I had to attend a special event and I wanted to lose a couple pounds or to “toned-up”.  I would’ve worked out for one or two weeks, but then I would’ve fallen back- there was no motivation. Everything changed when I started grad school and working out was the only thing that kept me from pulling out my hair- there, I found my motivation. So what’s the point of coming with resolutions if we’re not going to stick with them?

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2013: A Year to Remember

1 Jan

Wow! I am alive, I am breathing, I am happy and I am well!

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The great, late James Whitcomb Riley, an American poet once said, “ The most determination never to allow your energy or enthusiasm to be dampened by the discouragement that must inevitably come.” At the end of last year, my resolution was to make the upcoming year better than any previous years. I was willing to go the extra miles; stepped into places I never thought I would, as a way to improve myself. This year turned out to be better than I could ever imagined. I discovered how much strength I had when I had no other shoulder, but mine, to rely on.

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